Category Archives: Poems

Elegy on the wrong side of midnight.

There is a quite beauty to desperation. A crystalized clarity of vision in the throes of despair. Eerily there is a troubling calming sensation in impotence. Especially while even the remotest semblance of an inkling of salvation is absent. There is no respite, no sanguineness, nor restitution. Forget reparations when wallowing in the miasma that is the wrong side of midnight.

 

Sightlessly feeling around in the dark for a handhold to reality ,blindly reaching for some moral balance. Groping for a straw to clutch amidst the abyss,trudging mindlessly back to sanity. Trawling the dreary and treacherous seabed of drudgery ,scrambling for a nuance of normalcy ergo progressively instead lurching through into the locus of the wrong side of midnight.

 

With remorse and self loathing for company misery is deliriously in love..A cascade of debasement launches itself off its haunches from within. Manifest as a small still voice- drowning out the crescendoing cacophony of conscience seeking audience.The deafening silence of inept non response reverberates through it all. Soundlessly cutting through the contaminated ambience that constitutes and gives affirmation that  this is indeed the wrong side of midnight.

 

Optimism fades fast. Loosing itself in the vortex of the mind’s infinite capacity to entangle itself unto itself.Disentanglement from this congruence of vile negativity is futile. The ineptitude conjures the stench of incapacitation, permeating pervasively  the treacherous nexus of perfidy. Though joy cometh in the morning , there can be no hope for sunrise. Despondency reigns supreme whilst hurtling deeper; inextricably further into the void that is the wrong side of midnight.

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Out

out

out of reach, out of sight
always on my mind,firm grip
flying off the handle
about to loose it .

out of my mind,looking in
reciprocity seems unattainable
the situation is untenable
senseless am defenseless

out of contention ,grand prize
my opportunity seized
in choppy waters resolve capsized
veritable ego-downsized

out of an insatiable need for conquest
born of a need for triumph
borne out of compunction for destruction
all washed out, found out ,thrown out

[over and out]


w

Whilst whistling away down the way
Watching trees sway gaily as always
A donkeys’ bray made my eye stray
And there you lay by the way not far away

Whiling the time away almost unwillingly
The leaves from falling, breeze swelling
I got the feeling from the way you were staring
Blankly into space not all to well were you feeling

Wrapped up in your own warp you seemed
Transported from yourself –poised, elevated
Far removed from the tranquil surrounding
I wondered what you were wondering

Whimpers escaped, I heard, felt cold: shuddered
Like a thunderclap that had shattered serenity
Amidst the long grass I heard you cry
That was the saddest thing I ever did see .


Glass Eyes

Months now, still those eyes haunt
Everything else marred, blurred by drunken haze
And yet clear as can be ….. Those eyes

The distance in them captured mine at first
The depth of despair, anguish in such pretty eyes
Mine watered unabashedly

The sardonic smile in those watery eyes
Seemingly daring to be unshackled, begging even
Turning away invitingly [unwittingly?]

Ponderous eyes exhibiting poignant memories
Laughter and gaiety not what surrounds them now?
Not laugh lines something more sinister than crow’s feet

Despair is what traversed those beautiful eyes
Yet a lingering peace, spaced out and forlorn
Bitter-sweet-sour, everywhere they cast their searing gaze

Enraptured, enamored, what else could I have been?
Let me bring them back to life. May I? Can i?
Those dead, glassy, glazed, gorgeous green eyes?

Meow! Came back the emphatic reply ……


GRANTED

Granite expression, set jaw,
Studiously ignoring the murmuring from self
Discontent rife, acrimony courses through coarsely
Granted you aren’t yourself, still no excuse

Steely eyes leveled in resolve. Failure to solve or absolve
The Guilt wracking your innards, at least not now
The solution well within your grasp light years away
Untenable that you granted yourself away for a pittance

Paralysis grips already numbed gray matter, scattered thoughts
Ditherer on the verge of consummating own ignorance
Foolishly looking away from redemption staring right at you
Blocking out the truth, shielding self evident remorse

Won’t admit, can’t accept it, mistake made eons ago
Cognizant as nothing else than lesser –being syndrome
Revamped after slumber and a cold hard, calculated slap
Reality dawns, took for granted, spit on the gift horse

[Wish granted]


TURPITUDE

I shall scream, scream till my lungs smart
You cannot start to stammer a stuttering scream
There is nowhere else to run, nowhere to hide
So scream I shall, awaken the beast within

I shall dream. Close my eyes and drift away
To a far off place where nothing can reach me
A land of unending merriment, deferred detriment
That’s it! I shall dream lest am forced to scream

I cannot cry. It is foolhardy and defeatist
It is pithy- piety that I seek not a pity-party
Weakening my resolve without solving a thing
I cannot afford tears, so I shall dream and not scream

My eyes burn in indecision and self derision
Trying to muster enough will to master own self
I’m fighting back with all that I’ve not yet got, and yet …
They burn for I cannot cry; I can only dream, I dare not scream.


Sound zero

The sound of silence
Absolute still, nothing else sounds quite like it
Or rather doesn’t sound like absolute quiet
Solitude echoes greater truth than voluminous decibels in a cavern

The sound of tears
In the deep of night, no whimpers, no sniffles
Just wet teardrops rolling down dry raspy cheeks
They tear away even at the iciest of hearts

There is no thing like the sound of nothing
Dead silence, no crickets chirping, no creaking
Not from stairs or dead boughs swaying in the wind
No waves crashing, no teeth grinding, nothing

Just the tick-tocking of two heartbeats
Click clacking, two minds working furiously
Thinking of what to tell the other
Nothing to say, everything is done.