At the beginning of this year some misguided woman made up her mind to make an honest man out of me. In the strangest of ways I might add. We never had “The talk: she simply asked me one day on the phone as she was soliciting for lunch to be delivered to her office what the point of having a boyfriend was if he did not spring for lunch every once in a while. And just like that I was BMK the boyfriend.

As I write this I am languishing in the doghouse though I am telling myself that this is not an attempt at cashing in my get out of jail free card it really is. Though everything I am about to put down is God’s honest truth I think its time I faced up to the truth.

She has a little bit of Betty’s bitter, better, sweeter butter. My clan “wife”; unrestricted, willful, pig-headed at times but with an effusiveness of warmth incomparable to anything I have experienced thus far. Sometimes a little bit less and sometimes a little bit more than one man can handle, unbridled, unfettered yet tethered to the very essence that a woman should be.

Sometimes her cloudy disposition reminds me of Kaingu (RIP). This I say with all the feeling one can muster as I wallow in the despondency that her silent treatment can evoke. She has his steely set ‘locked on you’ stare that will make a lion’s mangy mane stand on end. That look has made me confess to minor indiscretions without a word being uttered. That’s a bit that’s a little bit perturbing but which makes her the human being I admire and fear a little.

There are many instances where I have found myself between a rock and a hard place, cliché I know, but luckily for me the rock has always been my salvation. Without realizing it though she has shown that she can be relied upon just as the rock in my life has always done. The Kadzitu family renaissance sprouted from the resilience that is Sidi a force of nature if there ever was one and so is HMK.

Even in the midst of these darkest of times there was no way to hide the luster of gold that lay quiescent like the gem that is Dhahabu. In times of despondency that same quality has come shining through in her just the same way that Matilda has waltzed through my life and swept me along in her bubbly disposition when I was down .She reminds me that as long as you can still hear the count there is some fight left in you.

Poseidon has watched over the two Pisces that are seemingly joined at the hip and love each other to pieces. Everything that I am has to on some level be a slight reflection of the influence that a younger sibling can elicit from nothing more than an effervescent and unyielding love and loyalty. By everything I mean Zosi sweeping away all discomfiture or unease like the thundering falls that she is named after. That is exactly the same elation that seems to carry me away to fairy land every time she walks into the room. That romanticism that makes me want to live in Victorian times and promise her everything that I am.

There is an ethereal beauty and purity of soul that reminds me why every once in a while why I think of bending the knee and paying bride price. Kahunda means bride price in my language and that I call mine “Mama” sometimes makes me watch the dimples as you smile and wonder what kind of mother you will make but I get ahead of myself on that score. I know that the same way she spoils me rotten you will too if and when we have our own bunch of Kadzitulings.

I do not doubt it because other than the Solomonic wisdom that has spewed forth from you the sweetness you exude is no less sweet than Haluwa it cannot be any less, quite possibly sweeter. Just like the awe with which I am struck every once in a while at the perception of Janet whose wit never ceases to amaze me. The dignified poise is matched to the tee as is the infectious laughter.

So you see HMK that is the reason that I sometimes think that I am dating the perfect woman for in all these attributes there is a little piece that I have grown around with all my life. And yet all these are summed up in the awesome nurturing that has been imparted by Dama. Maybe that Oedipus complex thing is not too far off the mark after all! As unromantic as it may sound or in as much as it might get me pushed further into the dog house I can picture my son looking for you in his future bride and know that if he finds that he will feel the way I feel now .

And yes JMK I see you smiling wistfully from your lofty perch just inside the pearly gates probably thinking that your boy is well and truly whipped. Don’t act like you weren’t because I know for a fact that you still are.

You are nobody till somebody loves you- Frank Sinatra. Frankly speaking I am very much somebody.


About BMK

I have always been overwhelmed by the exuberance of my own verbosity and the fecundity of my mind's eye. View all posts by BMK

2 responses to “FROM BMK TO HMK

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