I have been keenly reading the commentary following the visit by Pastor Chris Ojigbani “The apostle of Marriage” and I can no longer hold my tongue. I have had just about enough of the women bashing that has been doing the rounds for the last week or so. Every pundit seems to have something to say about the overwhelming response that Nigerian got.
Unfortunately for Pastor Ojigbani and his followers the census results were released the week of his debut .The raging debate has been on the situation that unfolded outside the KICC. Wave after unforgiving wave of hysterical women battered the obviously hapless security detail at the gates. It was an estrogen deluge.
Unwittingly the Kenya bureau of statistics fanned the flames of the wags and modern theorists throughout the land by debunking the population myth that women are way more than men. Had this been the case there would have been less of a stir. The revelation that there are only 300,000 or so more women set everyone commenting on the droves of women who turned up.
As one writer so succinctly put it, our women have very high standards! (But do they really?) Yes they might only meet their dream man whilst in repose but come on who doesn’t have an ideal mate? Don’t men have their own “types”? Don’t you know guys who proudly describe themselves as a “tit man “or an “arse man “. Or who do not date women who smoke or drink?
I know I’ve got nothing on Denzel but I would still like a Halle! A smarter version of course .Yes the numbers tell us a story but not the whole story .They tell us that the ratio of men to women is in the 1:1 range. The numbers do not account for the quality of that gene pool.
Lets face it gentlemen for every decent bloke you know you also know at least one alcoholic /degenerate gambler, at least one guy who has been in jail or is still a guest of the state, one serious player, one perpetually broke dude, one father Abraham (single with three kids from different women), maybe a junkie or depending on your social circles one or two gay guys.
The numbers do not allow for lesbians, prostitutes, menopausal women, cougars etc my point is there are way too many variables in this equation to reach an all round satisfactory conclusion, as to the root cause of the multitude that showed up at KICC. So from a pseudo scientific point of view let’s examine the facts.
Fact one: A lot of single women showed up!
Fact two :There is a clear shortage of “husband Material “
Fact three” Very few men showed up to this event. It was happier hunting grounds than an abortion rally!
Fact four: The biological clock is a force to be reckoned with!
Fact five: The institution of marriage is far from extinct.
Writers have the luxury of operating as armchair psychologists so let me give this a twirl. I believe what we saw was a cry for help from our women! Can the real men please stand up? Yes, chivalry is dead. Yes we all agree that women killed it. We must also acknowledge that Kenyan men buried it and had a 21 gun salute to boot!
Kenyan men have grown an increasingly Laissez faire attitude toward romance and I blame our women only to some degree. The Kenyan man’s idea of romance is a dingy Nyama den for a first date!
Yes Spanish soaps have continued to raise the bar in our women’s’ perception but gentlemen you need to know two things about these soaps. Spanish soaps are so pervasive that the actors in ordinary soap operas are shown watching Spanish soaps! We have given up too easily! These women are not looking for the same dark looks, wavy hair in ponytails and Pecs! They just want a little excitement in their lives!
What happened to mystery? When did chasing women evolve to chasing women away with your potbellies and perpetual beer breadth? And when you get home is it just the game and your boys coming over then a “quick one” before you doze off? If you are in a relationship when was the last time you took your woman out for a meal? No! Tamasha does not count! Am talking about a proper meal. Just you and her even to a chips joint without booze involved just to talk!
When did you last cook her a meal and actually went to the trouble of dimming the lights and setting out a couple of candles? Or drawing her bath? You don’t have to be Don Juan or Allejandro to do these things!
And while am at it I might as well point out to women something that men discovered a long time ago. What you take home is very dependent on where your hunting grounds are! You will not find quality men in Karumaindo my dear! Certainly not the men as envisioned in the mills and boons you have read since you were fifteen.
Ladies as long as you stay quite on these issues do not assume your man is a mind reader! If you are into that sort of thing for chrissakes tell the man! If he refuses to acquiesce to your request leave his sorry arse! But don’t just tell your girls and leave it at that.
So let’s leave it at this. Yes numbers do not lie but they do not tell us the complete story either! They have not addressed the ever increasing gap in philosophy between the sexes on sex which, lets face it,is the primal driving force to get into relationships in the first place!