Neo: Part two (lost and found)

I lost emptiness. I had sometime ago hollowed myself out. A futile attempt to numb the latent emotions festering under my jovial facade. I had hoped to be alone, submerged from all emotion except the filial kind. {Ironically hope is an emotion}

I had through obfuscation (a veneer of macho bravado) managed to eliminate almost all possibility of placing myself in the path of romanticism – real or imagined. I had eluded all instances of reciprocity in the realm of amore.

I thought, quite mistakenly, that I could avoid being at the mercy of another human being-putty in their hands or worse still their treacherous hearts’. This I had done successfully until that precise moment. Until I found myself almost drowning in that all pervasive welcoming gray-speckled brown gaze.

It was as though the longer I looked the clearer I saw her wandering on another plane. I was transported there with her (by her?). It was a desolate place, vast, full of the remains of broken souls, it was nauseating and yet as I could not draw away my gaze I stayed and watched. Realization dawned on me. She was searching.

Every once in a while she whimpered softly as she knelt down to pick something up. I observed as she carefully looked around and sifted through the broken pieces of broken people. Amongst the mountainous heaps of wasted lives her eyes wandered and lit up with the reflection of the glint of a familiar shard of aura.

I was startled by the sight of her delicate hands bloodied and raw as she stooped to pick up yet another piece of what I recognized only too well. Pieces of me. She dusted hem off and placed them carefully in the bag slung across her torso.

I stood weakening at the knees as I over and over she bent down and sometimes knelt for long periods picking up shard by shattered shard of myself. What I had so meticulously chiseled out she found.
Sensing my intrusive presence she turned and held out her hands in offering. What she drew from her bag were not the pieces she had had picked. It was whole.

Warm, pulsating with the promise of a requited emotion greater than what I had cut out crushed and scattered to the four winds. All this I saw before I heard her say to me
“Hello. He is not here try his office.” The vision was lost as she cast her gaze to the ground and quietly closed the door.

I had to have her.

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About BMK

I have always been overwhelmed by the exuberance of my own verbosity and the fecundity of my mind's eye. View all posts by BMK

4 responses to “Neo: Part two (lost and found)

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